Twerking Must Be STOPPED!

Twerking has been around for a long time. It originated in New Orleans in the early 90's. Although I don't remember twerking that early on, I remember the twerk teams on youtube back in high school and how it was only within the Hip Hop/black community. I even remember the Ying Yang twins' "Whistle While You Twurk" song back in 2000.

So why all the commotion about twerking in 2013? Miley Cyrus made it mainstream by posting some wack video of her twerking even though she was hardly doing any twerking at all. Now everybody think it's cool and even white people hopped on the bandwagon. Miley feels as if she's the queen of twerk using a thick black girl as a prop in her VMAs performance which I as a black woman found very degrading.

At first I could tolerate it, I even twerk in the mirror by myself or with my friends in the comfort of my own home. But I see girls and boys posting videos on vine, youtube and instagram for attention. Where are their minds at? There is a website that collects all the videos of girls twerking all over the US and I'm positive that a huge percentage of these girls are under the age of 18. The comments for these videos are just sick, twerking must be stopped! 

Now I can't even talk to a guy without out them asking me if I can twerk. What used to be a ratchet and disgusting act to plenty of people has now become a household name. Although I find nothing wrong with the dance, why can't we twerk in moderation? Why do we have to prove to everybody that we can clap our butt cheeks? It has become an addiction to many and it must be stopped.

Watch this video and share with everyone you know so we can come together and #stoptwerking

Why Do They Call it a Crush?

The first time we hooked up I told him I didn't want a relationship, I just thought okay this dude is going to be wack. He agreed to date casually, so we just been having sex and although the sex is great theres more about him. I'm not sure if it's his zodiac sign or something but he's very kind by nature.

His hugs make me melt inside. The first time I hugged him I melted, it made me weak, a damn hug (It's about to get heavy). 

He's a gentleman, he definitely had a good upbringing.

He looks at me with kind eyes but sometimes his eyes gets intense and he looks at me like he wants to devour me, and I. love. that. shit. 

He has a sense of humor, he's intelligent and we also have a lot in common. 

Okay Nola he's the perfect package, gentlemen but a freak in the sheets, isn't that what you wanted? 

Only problem is that he is nowhere near close feeling the way I feel and it's been messing me up.  I tried to express my feelings and it's either he knows and is pretending to be 

clueless so I can stay around, or he has no idea. Even my girl walked me through getting to talk to him on a serious note, and he just doesn't get it!

So theres this lovely eclectic guy by the name of Mojeaux Discothèque aka Mojo Disco (google him). He's a NYC Socialite known for his 

paint and poetry events in Brooklyn. He has a Q&A thing he does on his facebook and thought I 
should seek some advice from a male's perspective. He really did open my eyes to the truth to the mind of a man and I have 
a different outlook. Here it is..

Q: Haay, lol so I have the biggest crush on a guy that I've been dating casually. I went into our relationship wanting no more than sex but I feel differently now. It's not so simple though because he will not open up to me when I try to get to know him. I think about him too much and it drives me crazy, because he’s a bit of an ass hole. How should I go about telling him how I feel? Should I be straight forward? Should I tell him in person? I feel like a raging hormonal 16 year old, Help??

A: That is a consequence of giving your goods before giving your heart. It just makes everything a challenge for you. As men, once we feel we have obtained what we wanted, no more effort(or even thought) goes into it. Most of the time we're already thinking about the next conquer. What you did in reality is help to propel his closed complex forward. If anything, you can tell him that you no longer want to engage in sex until you can get into his heart. That challenge will either send him running, or force him to face his demons. Either way, it's his choice to make at this point in the game.

Although it wasn't what I wanted to hear, he spoke the truth. 

Why do they call it a crush?

Because thats how you feel when they don't feel the same way in return.

Why I Never Dated Outside My Race and Why I'm Going To Change That

 (via pintrest)

I always wondered why I never dated outside my race or at least talk to someone of a different background. I really thought I was prejudice but then I thought of all the guys that weren't black that I had a crush on throughout my life.

My first crush was Shane, he was Middle Eastern but I wasn't sure what country exactly. We were in the 4th grade and he always used to make me laugh. I felt so special because I was the only girl he talked to, most of the girls were stuck up. We'd sit on the floor in the classroom during free time and do weird stuff with our voices and put our knees under our shirts to make boobies. I never smiled with a boy before, I was so used to crying around them from being teased and tormented. I knew he was my friend.

Then one day I had this feeling come over me and I knew I didn't just like him, I liked him liked him (if you watched Hey Arnold you know what I mean haha). So one day we were on the floor joking around talking as usual and one of my friends who I secretly hated came up to us and said "You know she has a crush on you Shane." I gave her a "are you crazy" look and looked at Shane feeling so embarrassed. He looked at me and looked down. He looked upset as his cheeks turned red. "Tashana has a crush on Shaaaane." She sang with an evil grin. I wanted to fight her at that moment but I didnt want to get in trouble besides,  I always knew she was jealous of our friendship. After that day we never talked again, then I guessed he moved or whatever.

For some reason outside of my race I always had a crush on someone and they would like me too but it was always so uncomfortable. I went to a school where everyone was segregated by race and if you weren't a black male somebody was going to give you problems.

Going into college it was still natural to date "my own kind" and as relationships passed, I lost interest. I wanted to date outside my race but I didnt know how to go about it. It seemed as if dating black men were just easier.  You have the Asian's who have a different cultures and customs, and as much as I love what's different, dating on the other hand wouldn't be as good if the family is not accepting. Then you have the Caucasians and that's pretty self explanatory, and its not all about racism, they just don't know what they do sometimes especially in California.

Now I'm in New York and I've been trying to step out of my comfort circle which is a lot easier being that the city is a huge melting pot.I'm not saying I'm through with black men, I'm just expanding my options.

Have you ever dated outside your race? Would you say it's different? What are your thoughts on interracial love

Food For Thought

(via Pintrest)

Amanda Bynes' Possible Traumatic Childhood?

We all know Amanda Bynes has been all over the news and magazines with her latest acts of odd behavior. Some glorify her others are annoyed by it believing that she is doing it all for attention. But the issue is rooted deeper. Two weeks ago authorities placed her on 5150 psych hold after she allegedly started a fire in the driveway of a home near her parents' house in Thousand Oaks, Calif. Her strange behavior has been going on for years, and it just gotten worse through time. "People close to Bynes are convinced she's suffering from mental illness, specifically schizophrenia." Child stars are commonly known for mental illnesses, specifically females like Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears for example. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors in entertainment but it is more than the whole transition from a child to an adult in the business. I can't confirm this but I believe that Disney, Nickelodeon and other children entertainment business are filled with perverted sexual acts, trauma and mind control to these child actors. More so for children who grew up in the industry. People don't want to believe it but this has been happening and still is. Even more disappointing is the parents of the child who is very money hungry and allows their own child to spiral out of control, like Drew Barrymore for example. When put in the spotlight at a young age it is a lot of pressure and most definitely detrimental to their mental health. This is just common sense though. I highly doubt anyone would want to be put in a negative light. Britney Spears maybe didnt have a picture perfect life as it seems once she started her career at the Mickey Mouse club. This is a very sick world we live in.

I looked further into mental illness linked to abuse and I came across this site . It mainly talks about conspiracies and illuminati in the media and history, but I came across this very disturbing story about an artist with 13 personas, her name is Kim Noble. Faced with mind control trauma since she was 2, she has over 13 alter personas who don't know each other but they all paint, each unique in its own. She was diagnosed DID and MPD (dissociative identity disorder and multiple personality disorder)  

“Kim Noble  is a  woman who, from the age of 14 years, spent 20 years in and out of hospital until she made contact with Dr Valerie Sinason and Dr Rob Hale at the Tavistock and Portman Clinics.  In 1995 she began therapy and was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (originally named multiple personality disorder). D.I.D is a creative way to cope with unbearable pain. The main personality splits into several parts with dissociative or amnesic barriers between them. It is a controversial disorder but Kim has had extensive tests over 2 years by leading psychology professor at UCL, John Morton, who has established there is no memory between the personalities and that she has the misfortune of representing the British gold standard over genuine dissociation.
Having no formal art training, Kim and 13 of her personalities (alters) became interested in painting in 2004 after spending a short time with an art therapist. These 12 artists each have their own distinctive style, colours and themes, ranging from solitary desert scenes to sea scenes to abstracts, collages, and paintings with traumatic content. Many alters are unaware that they share a body with other artists.
What is remarkable to all is both the quality of their work and the speed of their progress. Within five years of starting to paint they have already had seventeen successful solo exhibitions and participated in an equal number of group exhibitions. Kim was also the first Artist in Residence at Springfield University Hospital in Tooting, South West London.”

Check out a run down of her art work. (viewers discretion!)

Check out the oprah interviews and her website.

Could it be that Amanda Bynes isn't hungry for attention? We have to acknowledge all the possibilities and hope that she recovers as well as seek professional help to get to the root of her problem.

Pursuit of Happiness

They say the best things in life are free, and I couldn't agree with them more. How can I find myself when were trapped in a society where were told what to do. How can I be free when I'm a slave to money. How can I pursue happiness when I'm persuaded to do what it takes to live the American dream. What a damn facade America is. Where we are constantly spending money we don't have to be in debt til death do us part. Not me. I don't want to care about possessions, I've learned through time to be happy without them and as time progresses I've become more dependent on striving to make my spirit happy rather than turning to material things as a form of therapy. Granted, I get sad when I can't afford to buy nice clothes or get my hair done, but I know it is apart of my transformation to becoming the someone that I can't even fathom of being. And the people who I attract in my life to come will be nothing short of amazing and fill my heart with joy and light. I know that for a fact.

As go to work everyday, I feel empty inside as I refill shelves, ring up customers and clean up after them too. It's a constant battle to go to work almost every day, and I really can't wrap my mind around why. Of course everyone goes through this, we all work for corporate America, but I have no idea why I cannot deal. I often compromise not being able to pay rent next week everytime I call out and to be honest, I don't care. I told my friend that I want become the first black woman hitchhiker that I know. Although I was joking, there was some truth in it. Although they make no money, they seem to be the happiest people I've ever seen. I heard some stories about people who are homeless by choice and they too are happy. Not saying I want to drop everything I have and all that I've known to become one with the earth. I just want a part of it, a little piece of true freedom that has been stolen by our culture.

This morning my friend Sheldon and I went on a mini adventure to Williamsburg at the very edge of brooklyn where you can see the Manhattan Bridge. Although it was overcast, it was beautiful. The water crashing on the sand was calming as the warm breeze blew through my body. It was very therapeutic aside from all the chaos NYC has to offer. I loved it.

Natural Hair? I'm Over It.

Well not necessarily. I'm not going to go run to a relaxer kit, I'm just not with the epidemic of achieving a big beautiful afro or thick luscious curls. Natural hair has literally been a big ordeal for kinky and curly haired women everywhere and it was liberating at first. It was all about loving our hair and not conforming to what the media portrays as "beautiful", and it is still that way but now I'm not so sure for me personally, I'm just not feeling it anymore. My 3 years of worrying about my hair came to a halt 5 months ago when I went through a long and bad breakup. I was following my regimen and wearing protective styles then all of a sudden my hair broke off and created a huge bald spot in the back of my hair. Thanks stress! I opt to putting marley twists in my hair and I've had the same marley twists for 6 months straight of course with maintenance. The only products I use daily is a scalp vitamin tonic spray I got from the vitamin shoppe and shea butter. I also take fish oil, hair skin and nails and biotin although I haven't been consistent with it lately. I felt like for 3 years I catered to my hair, watched the youtube videos, read the blog posts, joined the forums, followed the challenges in hopes I can grow thick hair like the beautiful people I see on the internet. Now I'm so over it. Hair is hair. I realized that I need simplicity and what they do for their hair may not work for me and it's okay, but man I was obsessed! I was jealous that my hair couldn't curl like her's and my fro wasn't as full and thick like her's, which was pure insanity! I spent so much time googling the best product for twist outs, scalp moisturizers, leave in conditioners, shampoos and anti frizz creams. You'd see me in target reading all the product labels, comparing prices and talking to fellow naturalistas about what styling cream is better for my hair type, over it! My hair is bipolar and it doesn't need my extra time and attention (that is what created breakage). My nappy ass kinky hair needs hardly any attention and that is why I'm looking forward to locking my hair when it grows back. It's either I lock it or go bald and bald is not for me haha. As much as I love my hair, I just want to be to be free'd of the responsibility of it.