Being a Tall Black Woman

Everywhere I go Im criticized. Little kids drop their jaws and stare at me with their eyes wide open. I was always taller than most kids throughout my life but I wasn't tall. It all hit me in the 8th grade. My mom took me to my doctor concerned with my new found growth. The growth pains were the worst. My knees would creak and throb in PE class and I had to skip out on certain exercises. It made me feel awkward. My insecurities led to a lot of bullying from other kids. I was the tall awkward girl in school as I had to wear high waters jeans because I grew out of my clothes to fast. By the time I was a freshman in high school I was 5'9. Fortunately I had friends with the other tall girls and it made me being me a lot more comfortable. I still dealt with bullies(aka immature boys). I was told that my feet were big, I was dark skinned, I was too tall,I had nappy hair, I was skinny. The older I got the more comfortable it was to date. Once I was in college it was nothing but tall men galore! No longer did I have to deal with boys making fun of my height.


Now I'm 21 and I can proudly say that I'm not embarrassed of my height anymore. I'm unique and I love it. One thing I learned is how to deal with people who are insensitive and often jealous. The spotlight is on me all the time. I get the "woah your tall!" the "you should model." And "Do you play basketball?" I usually just go with the conversation because they don't understand how repetitive they are. At times when I don't want to be bothered I just smile and nod even when that person comes off as insulting. Being tall requires a lot of confidence and thick skin. Being anything of a minority requires the same thing as well. So whatever you are whether your extra tall or short, confidence is key. Laugh at yourself sometimes, it's okay to have a lil humor about the way you look. It shows confidence and people won't use what they may not like against you. Ever since I moved to NY, I haven't been getting the whole tall girl look. That's because New Yorkers don't really care for the most part. One of the main reasons why I love the city, we can all be and express ourselves.


Shani.

21 and broke

Where is the financial stability? The comfort in living? That job that I talked about previously, is gone. It was a 3 week job. Bitches be trippin. How were they not going to tell me that it was a 3 week temp job. I thought I was gonna be there til April. So I'm open for any job I don't care what it is, I'm desperate. As long as it falls within morality. I'm not going to become a skripper.

Life in NY has been pretty unstable financially and I should've known this. It is the city and those who move and survive are those who

1. Have very supportive parents
2. Moved for their career
3. Get paid to go to school

I don't fall in any of those categories. Although my mom gives me food and gas money and I'm on my fathers phone plan. It's nothing compared to the kids who get money for rent and other expenses monthly. Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful for parents who want to see me succeed but at the same time they don't want to see comfortable to the point where I rely on them for money. It's very understandable.

I've been here for 9 months and its been a whirl wind of struggling. J and I are strong and we'll keep riding til we can't no more. We're thinking about moving to Connecticut if we can't find a stable job here soon. He knows people who can get me a job immediately and his parents live there so I'm looking seriously into it. I'm really looking for some where where I can be stable to go back to school. Quite frankly New York just ain't it. Will I be saying bye to the big apple? Only time will tell.

Shani.